Miami

I flew NWA down to Miami yesterday for a week of Fokker training. This city is completely whacked. I mean it. If you have spent any time down here in the last few years I am sure you would agree with me that it is sort of off the map. Once you get south of West Palm Beach you unofficially leave the bounds of the United States. It takes on more of a Latin flair and everything becomes spicier and more wild. Driving is just terrifying. I came to two intersections last night and came across a traffic signal that I have never seen anywhere in the U.S.. The traffic signal was hung horizontally and had five lights. From left to right, the first light was a red light. Next to that there was a green turn arrow. The remaining lights were the standard type. I pulled into the center turn lane and was issued the far left red light and the green arrow next door. What do I do? I honestly didn't know. It was like I was in a different country. I came to another signal in the area that was the same. So, today I asked my instructor and he said he has never seen that configuration. Hmmm....

{A scene from the Florida Department of Transportation}

Manager Jorge: "Hey all, Miami is really getting crazy these days. No one even knows what a turn signal is for and they could hit a telephone pole on the Bonneville salt flats. So I was thinkin', why don't we test out some new traffic signals down there that are kinda' ambiguous. Here's what I was thinking, we could throw up a few traffic lights that indicate two different commands. Whada' ya'll think?"

Team Member Jose: "Yeah that sounds great to me. Heck it can't get any worse down there and if these ambiguous lights catch on we could infuse Miami confusion all over the state."

Manager Jorge: "Okay, let's do it. Notify the local fire departments and insurance companies so that can lay in extra supplies and agents."

Anyway, let me just say Cuban food is outstanding.